EGL sat down with couples of all ages and races to find out the dynamics of their relationship and whether they were comfortable saying they truly trust one another. We also explored whether there was a point in their relationship when they didn’t and how they overcame that obstacle.
“I believe that the basics of a relationship needs to be well established and done as a self assessment before the individual makes the decision of becoming the other half that completes someone’s whole,” said Nadine, 38. Her husband, Larry, 33, had a different perspective.
“I can agree with you to an extent and that’s only because that is not reality or the world that we live in,” Larry said. “People want what they want, when they want it. This is a fast-paced world. I think a couple should grow and learn together. That’s what keeps the balance!”
“I don’t know if I can really say that I trust anyone,” Paul, 26, said. “And let me be clear, this has nothing to do with Tony,” he clarified, affectionately placing his hand on his partner’s thigh. “There are times when I argue with my own thoughts and insecurities and sometimes I find myself struggling with keeping commitments I’ve made to myself and second-guessing my actions. I say this to say, if I have a hard time struggling with trusting myself, it’s going to be a challenge trusting someone else.
“I’ve never had an issue when it came to trusting the person I am in a relationship with,” said Tony, 32. “I know that I tend to be an over-thinker and that would not be good for the relationship and would create a very toxic, unstable and paranoia-fueled environment. So I’d rather allow for nature to take its course and let things happen naturally, and natural for me is earning and gaining my trust. You are not going to just get it because we have a title!”
“There was point in time where my children’s father struggled with infidelity and that was his issue,” said Leandra, 29. “It annoys me when I hear couples use the [phrase], ‘We have struggled/struggle with infidelity.’ Like, why are you adopting someone’s character defects and flaws? If you aren’t a cheater and have never cheated then it shouldn’t be your struggle. That’s just how I see things. I had to cut off all ties with him before he got his act together and truthfully sometimes that’s the only way to see positive results.”
Her children’s father, Tariq, 33, agreed: “Getting over the fact that someone has violated your trust is difficult and I think it’s selfish to remain in the same environment as that person if you’re the one who created the situation. I’ve tried to be faithful, honest and trustworthy after messing up and let me tell you, it doesn’t happen overnight! You find yourself trying to play so many roles when all you really want to do is be yourself and to the core of the issue. You can’t be a good husband and great father to other people if you aren’t a great man to yourself first!”
Did you find any of the advice these couples shared valuable? Could you relate to any of the things that were stated individually and/or as a couple?
Written By: Tahanee
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