"I'm not gay! I just happen to like sleeping with other men from time to time..."




Excerpt from chapter 9: Lust Now, Cry Later


“No kiss?” Lamar asked, pouting as he stood at the door of his apartment.

“Of course,” Will replied, leaning forward and gently kissing him. Lamar cuffed Will’s behind with both hands.


“I gotta go,” Will said, pulling away. “I’ma be late for work. I’ll call you later.” He turned and headed toward the elevator.


“You know you’re wrong, right?” Lamar called out.


“Shut up.” Will laughed as he got onto the elevator.


This was Will’s third time spending the night. They had met three weeks ago at a local gay club. Lamar had never met a guy like Will. All the men he had previously messed around with in the past were flamboyant and drama queens. Will was more masculine and into manly things. However, Lamar didn’t consider himself gay. He just enjoyed crossing over from time to time, and he didn’t see anything wrong with that. Natalya knows I’m a man, he thought. I’ve only been with three men. I’ve had more women than men.


“Shit, I know I ain’t gay!”

It was 7:45 in the morning.

“Good, I still have time to sleep; service doesn’t start until nine.”

The air conditioner softly hummed. The room was nice and cool—just the way he liked it. He climbed into bed and pulled the soft comforter to his chin. “At least I go to church and repent for my sins!” He closed his eyes with a slight grin and dozed off.


* * *

Will sat frustrated at the traffic light, surprised at the amount of traffic on a Sunday; not many people worked on Sundays. He turned on the radio and popped in a CD. The bass from the speakers caused his windows to vibrate. Will pulled the visor down on the driver’s side and looked at himself in the mirror. He licked his index finger and gently ran it across his eyebrows.“Oooh, I need my eyebrows done.”


The rays from the sun reflected off of the mirror, turning his hazel eyes green. Will opened his mouth to examine his teeth, tongue, and gums. He scraped the white residue that coated his tongue and jaws with his long pinky nail. “What the fuck?” he said angrily. “I just brushed my teeth!” He slammed the visor closed. Will was twenty-eight years old and worked as a personal trainer at a local gym. He had recently moved from North Carolina where he was born and raised. He hated working on the weekends, especially when the weather was nice. He’d rather be out stunting, something he enjoyed doing. It brought him great pleasure the way women looked in awe at his lean and muscular physique. However, the most satisfaction he got was when he’d catch straight men looking at him. Once they realized they were caught, they’d quickly try to cover their embarrassment by asking questions like, “Is there a gentlemen’s club around here?” As if they were trying to convince him they weren’t curious. It wasn’t easy maintaining such a physique, which was that of a model. Although that wasn’t the look he was trying to accomplish, he had no complaints with the results, so he also stuck to a strict diet. The traffic began to move.


“Thank God,” he said, pulling his Chapstick from his glove compartment and greasing his lips. “He tryna 69 like Tekashi call him Papi, work that ASAP keep me Rocky,” he rapped along as Tekashi 69 and Nick Minaj’s song “Fefe” banged from the speakers. “Yaaaas, Nicki bitch! This is my shit!” he shouted, turning up the volume. It made him think back on his earlier years when he was young, sexier, and promiscuous. The music kept his mind off the fact he was at a standstill with what seemed to be hundreds of other cars. After listening to a few more songs, he turned the radio off and directed his attention to the road.


“Damn!” he shouted, banging on the steering wheel. “This shit is ridiculous!” He turned from side to side to scan the crowded road until he saw a small opening that led to the exit. “Bingo!” his reveled both rows of teeth from the true nature of this thoughts. I need to kill time with a big fat juicy dick! He was only feet away from exit that led to Stelo’s neighborhood. “I’m about to pop up on his ass. I need some dick. Yup… that’s exactly what I’m going to do. And that motherfucker better not have another nigga at his house!”


#newpost #tahanee #lustnowcrylater #excerpt #shocking #love #lust #sex #infidelity #passion #lies #marriage #trust #men #women #cheat #abuse #violence #lgbtq #deceit #hurt #brokenheart #dishonor #disloyalty #hiv #aids #drugs #addiction #childabuse #unknown #violence #secret


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