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He Says You're Controlling and Obsessive, You See It As Keeping Him In Check

Updated: Apr 3, 2019

A phone call, text and inquiring about his whereabouts doesn't necessarily mean you're controlling...does it? If he tells you he's going to call you back within five minutes but it's been an hour then cursing him out is warranted...isn't it? He wants you to fallback, but you feel he's falling off. Is there a difference between control, obsession and respect?

Reality Check

First of all, there is no such thing as having another human being in check! Why? Because ultimately a human being is going to do whatever they please, regardless. But of course not without consequences. Consequences are the after effects of free-will. Fooling yourself into believing you have that much power over another human being, a man at that isn’t wise. This could lead you towards some not so wise decisions that may have a catastrophic effect on your relationship. The only person you can check is yourself; do it.

Watch Your Tone

A grown man doesn’t need to check-in every hour on the hour! A quick 2-3 minute conversation should be enough time to ask the following questions: 1) How his day is going 2) If he had breakfast/lunch and 3) Is he going to be working late. Take notice to how the question, “What time will you be home?” was omitted and replaced with concern and coming from a place of affection and not authority. Tone is everything, so keep it at a respectful level or else you may find yourself being greeted by another tone…dial tone that is.

Find Something To Do

If you find yourself unable to focus because all you can do think about is him, what he’s doing and who he’s doing it with then more than likely you have way too much time on your hands sis. If you don’t have any business…you better hurry up and find you some! Sad will be the day when he approaches you and tells you that your lack of confidence within yourself and insecurities have pushed him away and into the arms of another woman (or man in some cases) Tighten up! It’s never that serious. After all…he’s just a man!


I know the late, great, talented Aretha Franklin gave us women a mantra, but respect goes three ways. Respect yourself. Respect yourself and your partner. And respect your partner. One is impossible without the other. It has to correlate before it can make sense and having respect for your partner, but none for yourself is a messy disaster and vise versa.

Don’t make him feel worth more than what he really is and always remember…you’re the prize!


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